Infertility, Ovulation, and Peace

Infertility and ovulation issues affect many womxn on various walks of life. At some point or the other, any being that menstruates has cursed their period. I most definitely have. Having children wasn’t ever present in my short or long term plans – I never really wanted them & then one spring, I got pregnant. It was like everything I’ve ever lost came rushing back to me in abundance. I changed my mind, I wanted a baby – I wanted this baby. Unfortunately, I miscarried by the end of the summer. It was a heavy loss to deal with, but one I dealt with nonetheless. From this point forward, I became obsessed with tracking basically my entire life down like I was Sherlock Holmes and the key to finding the missing diamond was in my menstrual cycle.

Irregularities in periods are a sure sign that one’s ovulation cycle may not be working in their favour. My last period (prior to going back on birth control and medication) lasted me over 18 weeks. Needless to say, I was tired, cranky, hungry, nauseated and everything in between at just about every hour of the day. After what felt like thousands of tests and doctor’s appointments, I was told that I was no longer ovulating. My chances of bearing a child are slim to none.

I was as calm as still water when I received the news. I was heartbroken, but I was calm. An odd sense of peace overtook me. I honestly, and quite deeply, believe that although I miscarried, having been pregnant was a sign from the universe to me that I will be able to have children. But then again, maybe I won’t be able to give the gift of life in this particular way. Perhaps I’ll be able to save someone’s life, love someone that needs it, take care of someone that would otherwise not have arms to run into. There are so many ways to love, and so many ways to care, what a disservice to my heart it would be to not actively live in those ways. Nothing makes me more of a womxn than what I feel makes me a womxn. & quite frankly speaking, nothing can stop me from loving, living and being.

I always say that the only constant in life is change and accepting that has been one of the most revolutionary decisions I could have made for myself. Through this, I’ve realized that though happiness at any and all given times would be fantastic, it isn’t always present. We may not always be happy, but we can always do our best to be at ease, and at peace. Perhaps this way of life isn’t for everyone, and I wholly accept and respect that. However, for myself, this keeps me alive.

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Love & let love. Live & let live. Be, as things will happen as they will, when they will. Good vibes, always.

Janu

*note*

If your periods are irregular, it doesn’t mean that you are dealing with the same thing. So don’t psyche yourself out (Google is not a doctor and has no test results, tell yourself this over and over again)! I would, however, recommend that you go in to see a medical practitioner and find out why this may be the case – perhaps your cycle runs differently, maybe it’s a slight hormonal imbalance, maybe it’s something deeper. It’s better to know. Once you know what the root cause of this irregularity is, I would highly suggest going to see a naturopath if it falls within your budget. I’m not a doctor, so please do take everything I say with a grain of salt. I’m not advising that you completely ditch your doctor either. I personally feel that it’s good to have more than one opinion. Perhaps there are some natural supplementary remedies or lifestyle changes that you can be making to aid you in the healing process. Be well!

Read the original article here.

 

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@ByJanuYs

Janu is an insouciant writer, an avid reader, a self-proclaimed and highly pretentious food connoisseur, a beauty and skin care zealot, and an all around creative being -flirtatiously dancing between the line separating a minimally aesthetic life and diving headfirst into a world of colour, whilst finessing every would-be run on sentence into a (somewhat) grammatically acceptable one. She uses her personal blog (www.aathma.ca) as a stomping ground to share her thoughts on lifestyle & culture, and #lotusxgang as a platform to create purpose driven art. When she is not creating, she is doing; she is either volunteering her time towards necessary causes (mostly focusing on empowering women) within the GTA, tinkering around with mixed media and various digital outlets to create art and produce content, or she is at home watching documentaries and/or children's animated films. What can we say? She’s a complex girl, living in a complex world.

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